Some babblings..

hrmm dah lama tak membebel kat blog aku nih..anyway, i've been occupied.. basically occupied with the preparation for my defense seminar, occupied with the tutoring preparation & tutoring itself  and also occupied with my own feelings...i've been experiencing mixed emotions off late..what with so many things to think, deal with and care of, it just adds magnitude to what i've been feeling...but i have to admit, mostly centers on my defense which will be in less than 2 weeks time..these days, i've been so many times down with my own feelings and lack of confidence of what i am to face at the end of this month..i was so depressed, tensed, stressed, emotionally disturbed that altogether many times had lead to the occurence of nervous breakdown. many times in the past week! it's true. all these while i thought i'm strong but the past week had proved i'm wrong. but above all, i thank God there are ppl who understand me, willing to listen and pray for me.. 

an update on my work..basically, the slides are done as well as the presentation text and i've just finished the first round of rehearsal just now...but too bad i couldnt get the actual room *which had been my preference* so i scheduled a 2nd round of rehearsal this week with more audience *read: colleague* being invited. this time, the secretary of the head of mktg dept was able to get me the actual room itself for me to run the rehearsal... so i get to practice using the equipments there. initially, i didnt want to have one...i was just so scared that i thought i'd just do this alone by myself at home but many seniors came to me and advice that maybe i should...they gave me some tips and do's and dont's based on their experience..so, since it's the tradition here..i'll go with it. and about 10 of them had agreed to come *i invited only these ppl* to give preliminary moral support and participate by possibly posting questions for me to be prepared of... bernardo even asked me whether i want him to be high level of critical or just medium range...i said, i dunno perhaps somewhere between medium and high level range...so there i go for next week, insyaallah. my colleague lizzie will be having her session this coming tuesday.. i'm still contemplating of going or not to hers because i dunno why, somehow or rather i get more nervous listening to others prior to my session. that's why i have always preferred to be the first and not the last...so see how.

but other than that, everything is fine with me.. sihat2 alhamdulillah..despite my body's been aching a lot lately; headache, body ache, lose appetite to eat proper meal and all, which all these in the end had turn me into someone who are really a mengada-ngada spoil brat kat umah with amran! hehe, i mean..mmg mengada2 lah..merengek2 tak tentu pasal bila sakit2 badan..merengek2 mintak tolong basuh pinggan kat sink..merengek2 mintak tolong serve food on the table.. merengek2 mengadu this and that, mengada2 majuk bila dia takmo listen to what i was saying *he listened actually but i said he didnt*  and all lah! nasib baik member tu sabo orangnyer hehehe. anyway, rest assured all those will be temporary in nature hehehe *statement kaver tuh!* afterwhich..the ija, i used to be, will be back. huhuuuu.

there goes my babblings..

see u later-later yach!