Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Mode : SANTAI

Erm.. apa nak citer yer... owh.. patutnya aku sambung yg pagi tadi eks.. tak teringat lak... anyway, that's okay...tuan ghomah buleh buat apa yg dia suka kan? hiks! Aku lega banget harini sbb kepenatan dan kelam kabut menyudahkan progress proposal utk presentation semalam selesai..tak sempat lak aku nak update tentang tu.. berkejor pulak utk nyiapkan critique submission utk harini...Belum baca sepatah perkataan, maka aku pon mula la baca semalam.. tapi.. mungkin sebab minda aku penat teramat plus mengantuk sebab bangun awal pagi (nothing new!) menyebabkan apa yg aku baca tak masuk ke kepala... pulak tu.. kejap2 Daisy datang sini nak bertanya pasal artikel tu lah (yg nak submit harini) tapi.. aku baru nak mula baca.. apa yg aku nak citerkan tul dak? So, aku takat dengo2 dari kejauhan la discussion dia and Hazel.. kejap2 in English.. kejap2 in Mandarin... erm... tapi.. aku terpkir dah.. erm... ni mesti ada issue ni pasal paper ni.. sebab nampak macam kelam kabut jer dua2 orang 'taiko' artikel ni smlm...

Aku tanya gaks depa sambil2 pelawa twisties aku tu... susah ke senang artikel yg ni berbanding dengan artikel lepas.. depa kata ..'not as difficult as last time, but the problem is, there's nothing much to critique this time".. oklah kot..Sudahnya.. aku balik awal semalam.. sbb pkir2.. no point dok langut lagi kat opis kalau takde menda yg masuk ke kepala...dalam kol 5pm gitu kot...Balik umah... lepak2... dinner... on laptop.. cek2 email lagi.. then around kol 7pm gitu kot, aku dah zzzzzzzzzzz....

Pagi tadi, bangun lebih awal dari biasa.. kol 3am! *sejukkk weiiii skrg nih!*hehehe.. "my work discipline has gone worse and worst" kata aku pada Daisy tadi... tapi.. come to think of it.. bukan work discipline aku yg worst..my attitude yg getting worse, if u know what I mean. Anyway, bangun kol 3..baca la.. first time baca tu!!.. so aku blasah jer la apa aku nak goreng... goreng kunyit ke.. tak kisah la.. tapi kan.. sungguh la... mmg idea itu datang di pagi2 sepi'i tu utk aku.. apa2 pon.. alhamdulillah aku panjatkan pada Tuhan...(walaupon belum tentu idea hat pagi tadi sungguh2 idea yg bernas) hehehe.... janji jangan hantar kertas kosong moralnya! Tu dia.. bukan lagi attitude yg worse, kereks lak tuh!! hahaha!

So, harini what I did was.... just wandering into the virtual space... baca blog2 orang yg belum dan sudah aku kenali......aku mmg takde niat nak blajo harini.. nak rehat2kan minda..opss.. dah dapat satu lagi marks... 80%... alhamdulillah...actually disebabkan terlalu banyak weekly critique yg aku kena buat.. sampai aku lost count benonyer of my marks.. tp yg pasti sumer lulus laaa...rasanya letak pon merata-rata gaks. Nanti2 lah aku cari balik. hahahah dasar sungguh!!

Oh ya, a bit on the feedback ttg presentation aku yg lepas...alhamdulillah jugak.. I managed the presentation just fine.. idak la gabra tahap cipan spt hari sebelumnya....(sebenonyer sehari sebelum tu, dah pesan kat ina soh dia pesan kat mak wat semayang hajat tuk aku huhuuuu).. ina kata "buatlah sendiri, nyusahkan mak ajer... bla..bla.. bla.." ahh!! memang aku buat pon.. tapi.. kan doa mak tu lagi afdal huhuuuu. Anyway, apa yg aku leh simpulkan atas komen2 lect aku tu basically.."interesting topic...clear contribution to the body of knowledge...need to define precisely trust construct.. add more marketing variables (as my work seems to go towards social psychology)...a bit too much to be investigated (yg aku ingat keroje aku lite-lite ajer.. ropernyer.. over!).." Itulah lebih2 kurang.. aku suker sbb byk feedback. Aku mmg doa byk2 spy bior ler aku org pertama present sbb slalunyer org pertama mmg akan byk kena komen + hentam, which is in this case, exactly what I wanted. There goes...Sv pon jenguk kejap smlm tanya feedback yg aku dapat... ada byk keje nak buat.. tp macam ada nafas baru di terowong yg panjang dan gelap ini...tp pegang torch light ni tau! hihi

Ahaa kat sini ada gambo2 masa PG Day baru2 ni... ni dah panjang entry dah ni...letak berlambak kang, kena skip ajer kekdahnya wat per kan *lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*. Sumer collection gambo ni ada kat facebook aku.




Later

Kang update!. Ada critique submission sat sat gi nih... lom siap!! huhuuu biasa la.. last minute-er ehh.. rosak bahsa! hehe.. biasa ler.. dah jadi last minit person... tp, ni kes last minit sakan2 punyer. Sbuh sepi'i tadi baru buat first time reading ko!! Later. brb.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Today, that is....

Erm… harini actually is my 3rd yr anniversary of blogging in this so called blogland…. As some of u may know, I have one public blog last time under Livejournal… started blogging on this very date in 2005 after reading casually of Delinn and her friends’ blog…I find it fascinating to be able to tell and share of things on a digitized medium…especially in my situation now where I think blogging is even more significant than before....a place I'd go to for my happy and difficult times.

Even before this invention, I used to be an ardent fan of diaries each year… me and Delinn both were. Anyway, since I am not from the IT background, IT thingy is so much alien to me…(actually till now, I’m still way behind as far as it concerns) but with the help of Delinn, I successfully created one and hold on to that until incidences happen that I finally decided to close and privatized my blog. I recently open and read back my printed LJ blog....yeap, I printed my previous blog before it was deleted… reason being??? Of course!! Those are my memories!!


As I read casually, skipping a bit on the days and months and years…. I can’t help noticing how na├»ve of the way I write last time..well.. not to say that I am any good today…I still write rubbish and approach them in my own silly way but somehow I think I am doing a slight better now than before….and what’s important is, I can read and see how my life proceeds…..from my life in Kelantan, to Ipoh and to Sydney. I still stick to writing about my daily happenings… coz.. the reason for me to open a blog is actually to capture and store memories which I would have forgotten otherwise.


Back then, those who commented were Delinn (of course), Bat, Iza, ME, Aunty N, Puteri and few more. Well… since I’m coming from a business background, most of my friends are not so keen on hooking with the Internet for this kind of reasons. Me? Coz my ex back then was an IT geek and Delinn is in this field as well. That’s why I got influenced. So I can say, most of my readers here should be originally Delinn’s (haaa aku bagi kredit kat ko nih!!) although I should say that the list has expanded... Well.. that’s what online networking is all about, isn’t it?


So, today I decided to open my blog to public again… for some reason known to me…and also another rational reason is………. Hehehehe… I heart nekrock!! who have been trying to log in eversince she’s been invited to this blog and to no avail!! Hahahaha.. Haaa nek… ni dah kasi laluan kat nek nih… so everyday day for 30 days, kena singgah and tinggal jejak eks nek???? Tu diaaaa pressure dah aku tgk nek!! Hehe kidding! So, tu jer lah kot!

Btw, this entry was type written on last Sunday, knowing that I am gonna be super duper busy on Monday and Tuesday. Have a presentation today! Major work were done/reshuffled yesterday and at this very moment, itu ppt udah siap…. I'm praying to get constructive feedback for me to work on further on this work. Balik kelas ni kang, berjuang utk esoknyer critique submission lak yg aku lom bukak langsung!!! Hazel mai tpt aku smlm nak tanya menda pasal paper tu… hehe of kos la kena decline kan… in fact aku lak cakap kat dia..”perhaps I’ll be the one who will seek for assistance from u tomorrow”… huhuuuuu… kayuh yer, jgn tak kayuh!!

Monday, April 28, 2008

WARNING!!! Entry ni melebihi senapas pembacaan!! Sila setelkan keje lain dulu baru baca eks!! hehehehe

Sabtu
Over the last weekend, seperti yg disebut2…aku keluo seketika dari kepompong pembelajaran dan melihat dunia luar owh… terang yer sinaran matahari? Kekekekeke apa ke kekdahnya skema dan berpuitis amat bahasa aku! Hahaha…


Australian Anzac Day
Well… hari Jumaat baru ni Anzac Day, kind of hari pahlawan la utk Aussies ni…. siap ada perarakan lebih2 kurang camtu la.. aku pon tak terperasan… tetiba ter-glance kat tv dalam dok bersiap2 nak ke school tu baru terperasan kat tv ada perhimpunan and ucapan2 bagai…Then aku ke school… kat school hari2 cuti umum ni biasa la.. senyap soh la! Tapi somewhere in the mid of the day, Hazel datang.. so ada kawan la…


Postgrad Day
Saturday, ekoran daripada paksaan serta pujuk rayu siap dengan ugutan-ugutan paparazzi (kahkahkah!) telah berjaya membawa aku ke Centennial Park, Randwick utk program Postgrad Day seawal 9 pagi… tapi as mentioned earlier.. aku kata nak dok campur tolak 2 jam jer dgn tak bawak makanan… tapi rasa segan la pulak…. Sbb ni konsep potluck.. malu lak rasa kalau datang dgn tangan kosong… datang dgn perut kosong takpe kekekekeke…so, tang menu ni, dpd macaroni bakar, downgrade sket ke muffin, downgrade lagi ke bihun goreng.. sudahnyer……..sandwich sardine!! Hehehehe… tak kisah lah kannnn janji bawak jugakkkkk…..
Dengan tema merah, aku pon bersemangat tak hengat nyer dgn tshirt merah, jacket merah plus knapsack merah! Tu dia… dalam dok takmo, takmo pegi tu…. Bersemangat lak aku menyokong tema penganjur nih.. alaa skali skala…sampai sana… despite aku yg dah sekian lama tak bersosial baik di alam reality mahupon virtually (hehe ye ker?? Kekekek), aku rasa I’m back to my ol’ self when it comes to socializing in the reality. Basically, aku mingle around dgn tak hengat donianyer.. jumpa sana, jumpa sini.. berkenal2an sana, bertepuk-tamparan sini heheh dgn pompuan ajer la eks… yeap.. so I did…ramai betul muka2 baru.. elok gak aku gi program ni.. baru kenal.


Upacara dimulakan dgn makan… maka… disebabkan jarang aku tgk food yg pelbagai jenis… jadi aku blasah la makanan2 tu kan hehehe.. tp small portion eks…sbb aku lebih pada mingle around dpd isi temolok ni haaaa… bila balik .. and lapo balik.. dok terpkir.. awat la.. aku tak makan sekenyang kenyangnyer tadik.. terlepas gak aku dr makan rendang.. yg diwar-warkan sedap tak hengat tuh! Huhuuuu.. saje jer ko ekss cik pah…


Tang program sukaneka lak.. ish ish.. aku ni yg takde anak dok sokong anak2 org lain ngalahkan mak pak depa sendiri.. .. layak jadi pom pom gurl lah aku ni hehehehe… neways… dalam aku dok kata takmo join sepatah habuk program sukan tu.. tp nama naik jugaaaaaa utk masuk group 2.. jadi.. rasa macam tak sedap lak nak ngelat atau ngelak.. maka.. aku join la jugak… dgn berkata di dalam hati…’setakat main satu game jer udahlaaa buat syarat’……Buat syarat ke haper! Aku main sampai sudah!! Ter bersemangat kumpulan lak aku bila dah main2 tu…. Sampai cik pah perli baekkk punyer lepas tu dalam YM….’ Eh… ko dok sana tadi baper lama ha?’… Aku jawab…’dok 5 jam!! Sambil gelak tak hengat2 nyer… dia lak kata…’ aku suruh ko tambah 1 jam jer.. … ko lupa diri sampai campur tolak jadik 5 jam’ kuang kuang kuang….tp best aaaaa.. loosen up and relax2 minda gitu kan….Habis program…. aku terus ke school… menelaah la sesikit…ada presentation nih hr selasa nih!!!!! Letih aku! So tu jer la utk hari sabtu….Oh ya group aku menang eks !


Ahad
Ahad lak… the guys tak jadi buat badminton finale.. sbb ramai yg takde.. ke Newcastle lah.. kesana dan kesini… so kensel… so..mulanya aku dah malas nak gi dah….. tapi.. rasa cam nak main badminton lak… tu dia… aku lupa daratan dah kan… bila dah start beraktiviti social ni… aku tau dahhhhh…sbb tu aku takmo mula ccececeece…anyway, so I did go and play…. Alaa.. main setakat gerak2kan muscle jer.. idak lak sampai berpeluh bagai… mula tu main sajer2…then… utk 2nd court tu… depa ajak lak main regu campuran (cececece bunyi cam baguss jer kekeke)…so, aku partner dgn Farid, Zurin dgn Abg Lan… and of kos la yg main dgn aku kalah kan hehehee… aku reti main.. amik/pukul bola… tapi bab nak lawan.. sbb nak jatuhkan bola di pihak lawan.. aku tak reti.. apatah lagi nak smash bagai!.. tp.. rest assured, suara aku lah sahaja yg bergema dalam court tu hahahahaha… ampesssss ok!! Siap leh pesan tu pada Abg Lan… jgn smash occay!!! Kehkehkeh….and aku pon perasan dia bagi bola cantekkkkk ajer kat aku hahaha! Kesian sangat kot dia kat aku hahahahahah


Habis main badminton.. dok borak2 dgn Zurin and Yanie sat…. and then gerak pulak nak ke school… tengok2 Zurin ajak jenguk ke book fair yg tgh on kat Roundhouse (dalam univ gaks)… so aku yg mmg pantang dengo book fair nih.. singgah la…. Erm.. apa nak dikata…. Dah hari ni last day… dengan promotion bagai sbb depa nak habihkan buku2 tu… aku hangkut 2 kotak buku occay!! 2 kotak tuuu!! Tah zaman bila lak aku nak baca kekekeke……Well.. it’s an offer I can’t resist… penuh satu kotak (dalam size A4 yg ada 8 rimm tu lbh kurang), hanya bayo aud10 for books… and aud5 for magazines… mana tak aku hangkut…… of kos buku lama2… ada yg lama zaman tok kaduk.. ada yg not that lama.. like tahun 2004 ke gitu.. as for magazines.. ada aku jumpa 2007 nyer edition.. aku ada jumpa buku2 yg mungkin (mungkin lagi tuh!! tp rembat gak!) aku pakai utk research plus buku yg aku mungkin akan pakai lepas aku grad nanti… and also tak ketinggalan buku2 citer la yg aku hangkut…total one box tu = 10 dollars jer…. Then.. aku naik tingkat atas…ada magazines for women.. aku kalau kat mesia and bukan zaman belajar.. mmg aku addicted to buying women’s magazines.. magazine omputeh eks…. Tp.. sejak kat sini yg dah almost 9 months ni.. idak ler aku membelinyer…so aku beli la backdated editions of women’s weekly, food and taste for only 5 dollars a box….


Habih2 tu, aku ke school…


Good news is… ina kata atan dah beli pc.. I like! I like!! Tak sabo aku nak ber-email and chatting bagai dgn farhana and dik an huhuuuu.. siap baru create YM id lagi tadi kat kakak…’anaija’ hhehehehe….


Erm.. panjang labor dah eks.. entry aku kali ni…. kali ni aku rasa sah dah.. mana2 yg berkenaan tu akan skip nyer baca entry nih hahahahahahaha.. sabo jer la kome! Huh! 1103 patah perkataan tu!! Apesal la bila aku nak buat write up utk tugasan aku punyerrrr le seksa???

On another note, esok aku ada presentation untuk work in progress proposal aku.... doa2kan aku eks.... walaupon not assessbile and informal one, I still want to do the best that I can.. Thanks!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Some conversation..

Ija (24/04/2008 5:27:22 PM): weh!!
Ija (24/04/2008 5:27:30 PM): i might go.. tp mungkin sekadar jenguk muka kot

Member tu jawab..." takde istilah jenguk menjenguk!.." tu dia... satu dasss ok! :P

..Rasanya gi kot...tp.. dok dalam +/- 2 jam gitu jer laa.. enough to catch up hot & juicy gossips and updates kehkehkeh...lagipon.. aku dengar2 citer korang dah pakat2 nak paksa-rela kan aku kan???

...Called yanie yesterday.........so...

.."ok la ok laaaaaa aku pegiiiiiiiii... demi korang tau! tp kejap jer...food tak tau lagi bawak ke dak...aku tak tunggu sampai time makan kot (tp korang tapau la sket food korang utk aku bekal ke school, demi kasih sayang korang pada aku hahahahah!")
later

Thursday, April 24, 2008

After the meeting...

hehe dari takde idea... terus sampai ke 2 updates...

Anyway, I just wanna update on my meeting with my sv just now. Like I said earlier, I was damn scared of meeting him despite the fact that I was the one who initiated the meeting in the first place. Actually, I was supposed to see him in the morning although we didnt set specific timing. But.... I just felt like I need more time before seeing him thinking that I might be able to read a bit more and prepare myself for some justifications that I need to do... to no avail!! I did read but nothing much go into my head..... so just browse webpages and blogs and halo which is exceptionally quiet today.

Sv came somewhere minutes before lunch time.. so I told him... I thought of not disturbing his lunch time and he said ok, see him at 2pm.

Alright.... I think I can see something here and perhaps draw conclusion.. well not really conclusion la.. tu over bunyi nyer...Hrm...I started off by explaining my confusion, what I hope from him and go through right up to showing him that these are the things that I;ve done and told him that I really really need his clear guidance and direction. I also explained to him my intention in this study, what I've discovered, what potentials I've seen and am assuming. Also told or rather explain to him the theories that I've used to back my work (although still so-so)..something like that lah... idak ler berjela2 sgt pon.. but I think I did go straight to the point, no hanky panky just now. His response??

Convinced, I would say. Well.....he did tell me that after listening to my justification and whatnot, he can see that my topic is somewhat at its infancy stage and ought to receive further investigation. Yang aku pelik tu, I have all these written in my work that I submitted to him last time but somehow in the previous meeting, I can still remember he said that... he's not convince with this topic.. kind of vague or something... hrm..... sabar jer lah aku.. Ya Tuhanku....I think I repeated few times seeking for his agreement for me to proceed with this area. He agrees. (eh aku nyer grammar ni hancuss ekss.. kejap past tense kejap present tense.. bior ler eks...mmg out pon grammar aku nih). Following that, he also guide me a bit on what I should do or look at ..... something like that laaaa..... one can't ask too much at one time, can they??? Bawak2 bersabo.. pelan pelan kayuh ekss Ija...janji jalannya lurus.... amin.....

So tu jer lah...... last last aku cakap kat dia.. I'm clear now.. and relieved....dia siap pesan kat aku... ni pesanan kali kedua ni actually... 'dont put a worried face on you coz u're a pretty girl.... it wont look good'... hampessss ok!! Itu jer yg dia tau! Dah la penah pegang bahu aku ok!! hampeh! opssss

Hrm....aku rasa lah kan.. aku rasa lah... erm...aku dah terasa benarnya dan bercakap menda ni byk kali dah dalam hati aku.. tp aku dendiam ajer.... kadang2 tu we tend to deny kan of certain feelings or gut feelings that we have... tp yg ni.. aku rasa betullah.... all will be up to me of what I wanna do.. which angle/perspective I intend to explore...something like that... hrm.. entahlahh yer... ada lah hikmahNya tu kan....aku doa2 ajer la....janji dia tolong guide aku oklah tu.....ni mesti berkat doa mak aku nih. Smlm tepon dia, dia kata roper2nyer slama ni.. dia and abah slalu bangun semayang hajat and doa utk aku nyer study... sebak beb! Serius! Haaa so maknanya.. bukan Prof2 aku tu nak 'give face' kat aku... tp roper2nya berkat doa mak and abah aku tuh .. uwaaaaaaaaaaaa *apesal tetiba nangis nih?*

ok dah lahhh
later.
Syukur, alhamdulillah....

Takde idea tapi 6 para gaks kekdahnya....

Erm.... aku takde idea la pulak nak update apa.... tapi...tgh bosan nih.. plus ketor2 gak dalam perut nih sbb nak ngadap supervisor.. actually.. aku yg request nak jumpa dia smlm....kalau korang ingat entry aku bila tah.. yg aku ada clarify dgn sv aku tuh.. dia lom jawab soklan no 4 aku kan?? so sikit sebanyak, this thing still mengganggu fikiran aku.... i thought i can do my work independently... kind of, know my direction and things like that. Ting has disagreed right from the beginning... dia kata... kalaupon kita ni jenis independent.. boleh buat keje sendiri... we still need direction.. then u work in that direction... ni takde direction nak jalan ikut mana... takkan main jalan jer kan? which is true, but i ignore initially.

Although aku dah dapat feedback from John and somehow feels like focusing in this area.. tp sv aku ni lah boss aku sebenarnya...bukannya John tu... so ndak tak ndak aku kena setuju/ikut direction dia rather than John... so dalam aku pkir2 kelmarin, smlm...last2.. aku rasa kena jumpa gak boss aku nih...so smlm, dah siap bawak notebook bagai..menghala ke bilik dia... terserempak dgn dia kat pantry... aku tanya dia.. free ke .. leh dak nak jumpa.. then he said, sikit lagi dah nak balik.. nak pick up wife dia.. i said, ok.. can i see u tomorrow then (hr ni lah tu).. he agreed. Aku brief sesikit kat dia smlm apa dia issue (brief ajer la) yg aku nak bawak hr ni... dia kata ok jer... isk.. tp macam got the feeling dia cam ngelak aku laaaaaaa...so tu lah kang nak jumpa dia.. tp macam kecut perut lak.. tak tau naper.. adakah sbb akan berhadapan dgn realiti huhuuuu... janganlah realiti yg menyakitkan hendaknya...

Peh tu smlm... dalam keadaan gitu...gi lah ke bilik Daisy.. saje nak ease my nervous and uneasiness.. tapi dia lak tgh prepare utk kelas dia yg dia nak gi in 2 minutes time masa tu... so takpe.. on the way balik aku singgah kat bilik Nui.. talked to her.. abt this and that.. so she did give some opinions.... hrm.. dia kata kat aku...'dont put pressure on yourself..' aku pon lepas2 tu balik and terpikir.. aku ni ke yg letak pressure on myself? hehehehe..

Well situasi dia ginih... kan aku attend kelas Jack and John (yg dah over tuh)... major assignment dia.. due mid June nanti adalah research proposal.. i like this assignment sbb in a way, aku akan ter-push utk nyiapkan proposal aku despite aku busy tahap gaban dgn assignment2 kelas aku. Aku rela assignment sebenini (yg proposal tuh)...So what i have in mind is... kalau boleh.. assignment research proposal tu biarlah yg memang betul2 aku nyer research proposal kan... jadi.. kind of macam kata2 pepatah omputeh tu...'kill two birds with one stone' (betul ke nih?).. kan? ada kan yg macam ni... in other words, aku buat skali jer laaaa heheheeheheh... aku ni malas sungguh la eks? keekekek..well... i thought that would be more practical actually....walaupon Jack and John cakap.. not necessarily ia akan jadi tajuk research kita.. kalau tak pon takper.. depa kata la...

hrm.. tapi.. Daisy and Nui macam advice aku.. alaa buat jer yg camana2 pon.. takyah yg utk real research nyer.. isk... aku cam tak agree... tp ada betui gak depa kata.. sebab dalam masa sebulan or so... mana dan nak develop kaw kaw nyer proposal kan... entahlah...haiiyyoooo... aku rasa aku ni keras kepala kot... kalau boleh nak jugak major assignment yg due mid of June ni kalau boleh be my real proposal.. so that abeh sem ni nanti.. aku just gerak dari situ...and bukannya patah blakang balik...entahla... but honestly, ramai jer depa2 ni yg masa depa buat assignment ni dulu.. tak sama dgn real research depa...sebab tu la agaknya depa advice aku camtu.. entah la... iskkk korang paham dak citer aku nih?....erm... tak kisah la kan...

Hrm.. rasa cam dah panjang lak entry aku hr nih.. dalam aku dok kata takde idea, takde idea tu...hehehehe. Ahh kalau citer pasal study aku ni... byk jer menda nak citer.. cuma aku tau.. kome akan bosan.. sbb bukan kome jer bosan... aku pon bosan!!

Daaaa

later...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

An sms this morning

.."Bye bye Ija. All the best for your studies - Kun Ying"

..and she's gone, 8.30am flight to Singapore

..sob sob..

later.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bored...

Since early this morning, already not feeling that good....so, I thought I wont update this blog today.. but... I did anyway, didnt I? Coz I dont have anything better to do now... opsssss I DO have.. but thought of relaxing my mind a bit today...the usual.. every Tuesday after 1pm, I always need real break..woke up early as well this morning.....4am...worked on my pending work...I think I am turning into a last minute person now...I have never liked to be a last minute person.. but thus far... true to what both Daisy and Kun Ying have once told me that ..." ideas will definitely come at the very last minute.." says Daisy... or...."u wait till the night before submission.. around 11pm.. then ideas will come at that time.." says Kun Ying <-- to which I've been there but still failed once! I guess... what works for me is even worse than for both of them...that is..at the dawn of the submission day! *sebab ada submission, terkial2 la keluo idea* but of course by this time, background reading should have been done already.. only time to 'perah otak' ajer...

Anyways, I dont mind.. coz what's important for me is... I wanna PASS, not so much score in these courses (in contrary to my previous degree days, vice versa) so that I wont repeat. I wont graduate with classes of honours or something like that.. these courses aim to teach me some skills and broader knowledge in this field...so grades doesnt really matter...I hate repeating the same trying thing...such as repeating courses.....therefore the worst that I can hope for is a pass, amin....harap2 termakbul.....well.. so far.. alhamdulillah.. the marks that has come back to me..are still ok...the most recent one (today) that I got is an 80, alhamdulillah again.....kadang2 rasa macam Prof2 ni just wanted to 'give me face' ajer dgn bg aku 75, 80 0r 85 marks.. huhuuu coz.. aku tau la apa yg aku taip dalam kertas tu kan.... tp apa2 pon, dah dapat tu, bersyukur then diam2 ajer la! Teruskan jer usaha tu! owh Tuhanku...

Anyway, finished Jack's class just now.. nothing extraordinary.. yeap.. did open my mouth just now...throwing some points which I am not sure whether they are point or pointless...

So.. I just blog hopped, catch up Sindarella...Prison Break...that's all... gonna go back a tad bit early today... ngantukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!
Daaaaaa

Monday, April 21, 2008

Plans

Semalam nothing much... spent my time in the school as usual.. did some reading.... owh.,..artikel2 aku minggu ni.. utk Jack's class nih... bergaduh-gaduh sesama sendiri tuuuuu....meaning, bertentangan pendapat antara satu sama lain... aku lom tau nak amik side mana sbb belum abis baca lagi... dan belum cari additional bahan utk support my stand...hr ni aku kena setel gak sumer sbb esok ada questions to answer/discuss in the class as well as critiques to be made and submitted....more work as compared to last Tuesday. I have to be productive sket kelas minggu ni mengenangkan last week nyer kelas aku diam terpaku ajer kat tpt duduk aku... so minggu ni kena bukak mulut sket...no excuse.

Had a nice chat with cik pah yg sudah lama kita tak bersembang gitu eks? Ko pon busy gak ek agaknya... this saturday we'll be having our family day or something... ada sukaneka.. ada pot luck and gather-gather gitu. My first reaction was to attend this get together. So, I told cik pah... I might come memandangkan....Isnin dah takde kelas.. so a bit relax now....siap dah bincang2 menu ringkas & senang apa yg aku nak bawak tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........tetiba!!!

Aku ter-glance (terrrrr lagi tuh!) ke planner aku... and hik hik hik... kesedaranlah aku yg next week selasa utk kelas Jack ni..... ada kind of workshop for research proposal... basically we'll be having an informal presentation (not assessible though) on our work in progress of our proposal. dang! So I changed my mind. Cik pah, aku tak jadi rasanya utk gi ke sukaneka itu. I need to work on my WIP proposal aku tuh.. and I couldnt thank God enough sbb I emailed John at the right time last week and able to get his comments yesterday. Maksudnya, aku ada bahan la sikit2 utk citer2 masa informal presentation tuh nanti huhuuu alhamdulillah... walaubagaimanapun, aku still nak kena touch up kerja aku.... sbb bak email yg dipaparkan smlm.. byk limitation and weakness on what I intend to study... tapi takper..... at least... kat Jack nyer kelas aku boleh dapat 3rd opinion pulak on my work.. gud gud!

So.. gitu lah keadaannya.. at this point.. aku rasa aku tak gi lah ke sukaneka/family day MyPSA hari sabtu nih... Ahad nyer pulak... hubby ada final badminton tournament dia.... As u guys know he's been playing badminton every sunday at UNSW court.. yg skali pon aku tak gi utk menonton atau support.. sbb aku dok kat school buat keje aku.... tp.. I was thinking sbb ni final (alaaa frenly jerrr.. nothing much)..so aku rasa cam nak pegi.. kasi support sambil amik2 video/gambar bagai.... I'm proud of him u know.. sbb to date....of all baper games ekkk yg dia main nih... he and his partner masih mendahului regu2 yg lain.. tak penah kalah lg dan 2 set sahaja. Walaupon aku tak penah gi tgk dia lawan badminton as compared to other wives who went there to support their husbands... without fail aku akan pesan kat hubby each time sblm dia gi lawan tuh... "harini mesti menang eksss". hehehe... so sunday ni macam depa kena lawan utk tentukan position or something like that.. Ntah.. tak gheti aku bab2 nih...so.. insyaallah definitely, maybe lah kot aku support dia kat court. Cik pah, ko takmo datang ke??? Jom aaaaa...Aku nak ajak Yanie gak lah! Insyaallah...

So tu jer lah...
later.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Beautiful news on Sunday morning!!

I can't help it to paste this email here once I received and read this email from John, the Scientia Professor in UNSW. Here goes...
************************************
H******
Br>
I have had a look at what you have written so far, and it is good.I have a few comments to make, as follows.

If I were you I would lead with the research question, not the background. While I was reading the background (which by and large I liked), I kept asking myself "Why is H****** telling me this?" If you start with the question, then the reader will understand how the background sets the context for what you are going to tell him/her about. It also helps you to focus the background to that which helps you address the research question in hand. The part of the proposal that is the most interesting is the last page and that is where I would concentrate your attention (What is your contribution and how will youmake it?).

I do understand that sometimes it is hard to get uptodate numbers, but in such a fast moving market, forecasts in 2001 of what will happen in 2005 could be complemented with some more recent data.

The research topic that you have chosen is terrific: '**********************'. You do have to be careful that the problem is tractable. For example, if you do a cross sectional study there may be many variables that might jointly cause ********** and ********** (e.g., innate innovativeness), threatening any inference of causation. If you use longitudinal data you have to worry about the source of that data and the time it takes to collect. I think that this is a thesis whose scope will probably be bounded by the data that you are able to collect. To that extant the way in which you intend to address your research question may well be on the critical path to making progress on it.

In thinking about the drivers and barriers to the ************ I do commend you to Rogers' book (The Diffusion of Innovations).

I have some minor issues (for example, Is involvement a prerequisite or a catalyst to behaviour?), but they will get ironed out as you progress.

Good luck with your research!

Cheers

John R.
*************************************************
So, what say u ppl? See.. I have the feeling that this area is somewhat interesting and fruitful.... although as John pointed out there are a number of issues to be paid attention to as well...but what I wanted to know most was that the topic I suggested is no nonsence and receiving these encouraging remarks from one of the top researchers in UNSW sure helps a lot!..

So I guess what I have to do now.. is tackle or rather explore further on the weaknesses in this work and work towards convincing my supervisor...rather than venturing into a whole new area/topic. See how it goes...
But.. alhamdulillah.....lega sikit... at least I think I did the right thing from the beginning....
Later

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Chilling out

Just got back from Eastgarden, a place or an outing that I've put behind for weeks! When I told my hubby to go out do some shopping, he was more than happy. I've been postponing for shopping since early March if I'm not mistaken, that is since the classes started. In contrary to last semester, this time around I prefer to go out do shopping or groceries on Thursday after school so that.. weekends I can get to do my work. But.. now.. even groceries were done by my hubby, I just gave him the shopping list. If u guys notice, last semester almost every weekend was an outing activity for me hehehehe... *Na, kabo kat Wak, aku tak shopping dah ekss sem ni, tunggu next sem pulak*

Anyway, in Eastgarden, we bought some warm clothes.. it is really getting colder these days.. it once went down to 16 degrees, otherwise will be around 20 degrees although it will be cooler at night. But I like this kind of temperature instead of warm ones (27-30 degrees), yeap I do like like sejuk2 weather one. *Habiss la aku balik mesia sok hehehehe*..owh yes, so we bought some warm clothes, wool socks, a jacket for myself dark choc in color and some other stuffs. Last year when I came here, it was towards the end of winter already so... although it was still cold, I believe that the beginning or peak winter season will be much cooler. Got to be prepared for that might as well.

Yesterday was rather an occupied day for me. I thought I wanna sit back and relax a bit and play-play but...I forgot that there's a seminar by Prof Mark Colgate from Victoria University Melbourne in the afternoon. Luckily, I glanced at the seminar schedule and realized that in the morning! Last week it was Daisy who suddenly came to me and asked what time are we going to the seminar, otherwise I would have forgotten as well! *Harap schedule jer tampal depan mata hiks!* It is compulsory for us to attend these kind of seminars where we need to at least try achieve 70% attendance. I thus far only failed to attend one due to the 40% assignment submission on the very same day. The Professor presented his research on customer success which I thought was interesting because normally we look for or research on customer satisfaction and quality of service or something like that. But his paper was looking at customers who rate banking services towards the high end. His analysis was kinda simple though with only the comparison of means instead of other advance statistical analysis.

So...knowing that I am gonna have a seminar in the afternoon..I cover up that portion of seminar period into readings that go right from morning till way pass my lunch time. Lunch was no more taken at lunch time these days for me, so not a big fuss with taking up my lunch time to do something else. So, no chatting or whatsoever except for one with Bat early in the morning. Oh I emailed John a portion of my proposal ( the one that my sv think is not suitable) hoping to get his constructive comments on it....coz somehow I still believe that area is fruitful, so gonna get second opinion on that. John has so many times emailed us (8995 course's students) to come to him if we needed his help or something with our research. So I did. He has replied agreeing to comment however I have not received any just yet.

Basically that's all. There was yassin and meet up with the new MSD Director yesterday at the Malaysia Hall but I didnt go though. Entahla.... after one incident last semester, I kinda take a back seat with MyPSA activities, it seems. Will call Yanie later later to get updates. As for this coming Monday, yippeee because no class. The class has finished, thank God! Thought of seeing my supervisor..but then again.... see how.
Ok.. later.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Best and best-est buddies

Teringat entry Angahnyer entry on how she managed to get together with her long-lost (betul ka?) best boy buddy... Her entry indirectly reminds me of those (those tuh!) boy buddies I used to have... yer dek non.. used to have.. coz as everybody proceeds with their life, things change, we respect those changes and know our boundaries... but somehow....when I started working.... I kind of lost them all...*aku dah terbayang Wa cekak pinggang dah tuu.. sabo sabo...nanti aku wat entry khas utk ko hiks!! ni opposite gender nyer citer!*

Starting from 1st yr degree, I have N*** who first started off wanting me to be his special kihkihkih.. but I rejected.. aiiyooooo...mana bulehh...baru 3 minggu masuk kuliah sesama ok! (patut le tetiap hari pinjam buku nota maths aku.. sabo jer.. ko ingat dak Wa? kekeke). huhu tapi ada guy yg approach aku lepas 1 minggu orientasi occay hehe! chomel sgt! (ko setuju kan Wa?) tp aku reject gaks...1 minggu maaaa...opssss..ter-side track lak.. anyway... aku tak suka N*** ni asalnya.. tp.. one fine day dia citer kisah sedih dia.. dia jaga arwah mak dia masa hayat dia.. honestly, mmg sedih laaaa *yer wa aku masih ingat*.. masa tu dia citer tepi koridor masa nak masuk kuliah, sabo jer. So after that, it kinda changed my perception abt mamat ni and we turned into good friends. Really!! Friends for benefit kah? Define friends for benefit keh keh keh.. taklah...biasa la good fren kan, tolong menolong sesama insan but byknyer dia tolong aku and geng2 aku hiks! To cut the long story short, it ended some time few yrs ago. *rahsia~ hanya yg tau, tau* but.. it was such a 'thing' that I couldnt take it. Hati gajah jugak aku ni yer Bat? :) But, I have to admit... once in a while.. I do think of him..

Aku close gak dgn R***** sbb sama2 join kelab rekreasi yg aku nih naib presidennya..so byk spent time together ber-camping and rekreasi bagai...he always citer2 one kat aku about the girl yg dia suka.. tp masa 3rd yr kot bila aku start dok outcampus.. we kind of distanced a bit... and mamat ni *huh! abesss laa kalau aku ter-bagi dia masuk blog ni one day* macam ala2 merajuk gitu sbb aku busy dgn dunia study ku (ye ker eks??).. tp betul, aku mmg bab study aku utama kan..so, we drifted apart... actually..we can contact each other if we want to... he can do so as much as I can do the same...tp..bukan ajer hati gajah Bat, kepala gajah gaks kekekekeke

Masa aku buat masters...aku close dgn this one guy.. yerrrr utk kesekian kalinyer.. dia jugak approach aku tp....hati ini tiada di situ...so, we turned into the best-est of friends. Owh best Angah! Through thick and thin, I tell u! I luv him, I do.. but as the best-est of friends. He loaned me his laptop throughout my study period, he came to my place, bring me over to KFC (aku kan student miskin, dgn duit mara~dia dah keje), he would call me to wake me up..."bangun! bangun! semayang subuh! study! wat assignment! hr ni submission!!".. gitu lah lebih kurang...or... he would call me at dinihari (aku jenis study di dinihari, bukan malam hari) utk temankan aku kasi mata boleh bukak sket... kasi aku gelak2 sikit..then okeh.. dah stabil.. he let me do my study..sungguh....weh lama aku kawan dgn dia.. start sama dgn aku start berkawan dgn ex-bf aku.. cuma taktau pulak aku masa tu.. he already has the heart for me! *aku kan minah blur* anyway, gayut tepon kaw kaw...a fren i'd turn to during my ups and downs....
*welkam Bear!! aku tau at this moment ko lom masuk blog ni, sbb aku dah lost contact dgn ko.. tp gut feeling says, one day u'll land in this blog jugakk hehehehe, so aku welkam sesiap!*

Anyway...long story cut short jugak, when I was in Kelantan.. we still contacted each other through emails....but for one good reason, we kind of drifted, become apart and stopped!.

Later. Aku nak bukak artikel dah nih.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

THIS close!

I was THIS close to book a ticket to go home to Malaysia yesterday. Yep... u read it right.
By THIS close, I meant.. just a second away from clicking the mouse.
But I didnt.
Guess there's still some sense in me hehehehe...responsibilities make me come to my senses.
Macam orang kaya eks??? Aku ada kelas hari Selasa, there's a submission as well..so, I couldnt. Kang terkujat laks mak aku nengok aku muncul depan pintu (although the idea was tempting!) I can imagine farhana tetiba tgk aku dengan bulat matanya and say..." De'?????? Opahhhhh De' balikkkkkkkkkk!!! and I'll hug & kiss her and hug & kiss her over and over again! and I would imagine her wanting me to send her off to school the next day huhuuuuuuu verangans!

* hissss mana tau tetiba aku buat jugak gitu eks?? aku kan unpredictable gitu* tapi apa2 pon kena tgk buku akaun dulu lah eks kekekekeke..
Daaa.. some ramblings.
later.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Parcel from Malaysia

Received a parcel that Delinn sent me..excited to look at what she sent... the cd!!! yes!! it came at the time that I needed most! today!!! thank you God!
I was actually wondering of what to do today or this weekend perhaps.. u know.. just to loosen up a bit and chill out.. something like that...I was contemplating of this and that options.. with the study being the constraint in between.. *shrug* see how. ..Anyway, what I did first after the class today was blog hopping, an activity that I can seldom do nowadays... I mean.. I would go to my friends site everyday, but not to stranger's. Anyway..I hopped into one, crossed path into another... and accidently bumped into one site that has virtual short stories in it hehe..nice and nice! That glued me for a while in that page before Johra came to ask some favor regarding the new scanner. So I showed her on how to use it in the printing room for a while and that's when I saw this huge box. Like a girl given her barbie doll... I excitedly took the box, hurriedly open it to see all the junkfood that I asked for are there!! hahahaha... Well.. the excitement of seeing the swimming suit has somehow sober a bit coz it's cold and rainy here these days.


So here goes,



So.... thanks so much ekss??? jasamu dikenang hehehehehe.. caramel latte yg aku pos tu dah sampai ke belom weiiii?????
Okeh nak makan chikadees~!

This morning..I

..am tired...physically and emotionally...
..am sick!...emotionally..
...am missing heaps of people..including people u guys wont believe I would....(including Scofield hahahaha!)
..feel like I am almost falling down....

This is the point that I think I am at the bottom of the world.... well....u know...occassionally we do come to this point... the world is round, is it not? Let's just hope, I wont be too long down here..

Later

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Penangan Jack

Aku ada kelas yg meruntun jiwa dan perasaan nih. Kang aku hapdet, kalau mood mari.
Doakan!....(utk kelas aku nih laaaa!)
********************************************
Wokehhh.. kelas dah abih.. paper dah submit.. lega amatz! tapi... I think this is my worst performance ever in a class!! I didnt utter a single word in the class! Really!! I just sit there and keep quiet huhuuuu.. dalam aku dok berkata2 last week nak dok diam dalam kelas Roger..which I didnt.. roper2nyer.. dalam kelas hari nih sudahnya...hehehe.. well..to be honest, I am totally lost just now in the class. Song saved the day just now by being the only person who replied or argued on what Jack said or asked. I couldnt thank him enough after the class just now.... Hrm... because normally... in our classes I'd be among those who mostly tried to answer/comment/argue on what the lecturer was talking about.. normally... but not today.. I simply lost! Jack went on giving examples that..to me cross the marketing boundary by talking about economic thinking or perception.. huhuuu masuk bab economy, aku diam sbb tak reti nak cakap apa2.. baik aku diam dpd cakap benda2 yg aku tak tau hehe..

Anyway, thank God it's over...gosh! dont think am gonna get good marks for this one though... Talked to Ting yesterday (a senior whom I always refer to regarding my studies) ...she said Jack's class has always been diffifult.. yeah.. Jack's strength is in his conceptual background.. very strong indeed! Sangat conceptual tahap gaban okeh!

hrm... ok..dah pasal tu... dan... disebabkan aku dah lepas kelas dia nih.. (yerrrr since starting this sem.. till end of the sem.. his class was/will be my most dreaded class.. tak suker.. coz my conceptual ability sgt lemah)...maka... aku dah tenang skrg.. sblm another round of hurricane come over next week... so aku tuko balik ke lagu dan icon tema asal blog aku neh hahahaha...kosser kan!! ...words dia tuh bagussss utk aku bersemangat waja huhuuuuu..

erm.. aku kurengggg berselera sket lah aku notice of late nih... dah seminggu dua kot gini.... rasa2 aku boleh kurus kot ginih hahaha *dah ternampak2 muka2 jeles tuh* kekekeke...

Oklah...
later

Monday, April 14, 2008

Kun Ying <-- mrasalah minah Thailand dapat special entry hahaha

Harini Kun Ying akan submit thesis dia.. I am so happy for her.. she's among the 'old' ones (her batch) kat school ni yg masih mengerjakan thesis dia.. on and off, on and off.. kejap2 ada sini, kejap2 balik Thailand.. sbb utama - money constraint sbb dia self sponsored.. Talking about her, ramai yg kata dia ni pelik... so mula2 mai sini hr tu masuk ke room ni together with her (room ni ada 6 org resident).. dia buat hal sendiri2 jer... tp mandangkan aku jer seolah2 penduduk tetap bilik ni.. together dgn dia yg dok ngerjakan thesis dia.. maka... sembang2 la jugak... setakat laung melaung dr cubicle masing2....just this and that...aku careful gak nak nyembang on the fon dalam bahasa melayu sbb dia ni paham sesikit.. dia kata dia paham words utk food jer (dasar sgt! atas meja dia penuh stok makanan ok! hahaha) tp.. gut feeling tells me she knows more than that.. so nak cakap2 pasal penduduk bilik ni pon hati-hati la kekdahnya jugak...


Tp.. as day passes by (cewah cewah) dia rajin sembang ngan aku as compared to others...end up.. slalu ajak aku gi dinner to which kesemuanya aku turn down.. hik hik.. due to my constraint on the halal vs non-halal food.. walaupon dia kata dia paham tp kang.. terpaksa lak dia control nafsu (nafsu tuh!) makan dia sbb aku kan hahaha....lg pon.. aku suka Thai food.. the tomyam and all ..dia lak kata dia org Thai tp tak gemor.. camno tuh? pulak tu dia sokmo dok cakap dia suka and slalu makan roast duck...apa kes?? ngeri aku!....bila aku membebel pasal ketensionan aku pasal assignment... kelas.... ketidakpahaman aku.... yer lah... laki aku tak berapa paham tang ni.. hahahaha.. maybe coz he has faith in me.. sbb sokmo kata... aku boleh buat and he believe in me huhuuuuu padahal aku tau diriku... wahaha...oppssss


Back to KunYing.. bila aku tension2 ... lepas2 tension/stress.. aku akan jerit2 dalam bilik nih (idak ler jerit2 kuat, ok ishh kome nih).. dia akan bagi kata2 yg meng-ok kan aku... i would categorize as 'meng-ok kan' laaa sbb dia nyer advice tu ngarutsss most of the time... such as...' go back ijaaaa...'.... 'go shopping.....'. or.. something like this most of the times.. 'u know ija.. there's sale today here and there...bla bla bla..' hahahah aku kan nak jadik minimalist kat sini huhuuuu.. tp... boleh laa buat gelak ketawa gak dgn minah nih... Cam baru2 ni ada building evacuation test or something like that.. aku cepat2 amik beg aku nak kuor (walaupon training tp aku DQ gak ok! kekeke) panggil minah tu turun.. dia kata kat aku.. turun dulu.. dia nak save keje dia..then jumpa kata bawah.. dia leh kata kat aku... "luckily I didnt get burned just now.. my PhD is more important than my life.. if I survive but not my PhD thesis, I'LL get burned after that" whahaha tu diaaa PhD lagi penting dr life kekdahnya minah nih...Anyway...


Aku kadang2 annoyed gak dgn dia... 1) Sokmonyer bila balik or keluo memana, dia suka tak kunci bilik ni... hangin gak aku.. yerlah.. walaupon takde rete benda sgt kan sini.. tp kurang2 nya ada webcam and headphone aku tau!! hahaha...tak kosser aku membeli nak lain ok!...pastu.. ada gak sebakul buah2an hahaha... ehh camera pon aku tinggai sini tau...lagi apa eks...isk.. bila aku renung keliling cubicle aku nih.. mmg takde rete benda berharga pon hahaha.. well.. kalau bukan brg aku pon.. brg org lain kat meja depa2 la kan....hilang kang...sampai satu hari aku tampal notis depan pintu bilik ni..."Please LOCK the door if u're the last person leaving this room".... dua tiga hari lepas tu.... aku tgk mmg berkunci tiap kali aku org pertama nak masuk bilik nih... yer hadekk hadekkkk aku mmg lah sokmonyer org pertama masuk bilik ni.... naik lif kena swipe student card.. sbb only after 8am plus gitu lif jalan..then... tukang tarik blind atas bla bla bla...back tu Kun Ying... lepas seminggu tu back to normal.. tak berkunci balik.... hampeh ok! aku wat tak tau jer lah.. malas nak layan...


Annoyed yg kedua dgn dia nih.. kalau kita berdua dalam bilik nih... buat keje memasing.. kejap2 aku dengo dia giggle.. kejap2 giggle.. mula2 aku terkejut.. hah sudahlah depa ni kata dia ni wierd.. roper2nya slalu giggle sorang2.. kekdahnya chat bagai nak rak kau! walaupon tgh tahap gaban nyiapkan thesis hahaha... giggle tu tak kisah lah kan kalau sekali, dua kali or tiga kali.. tp kalau dah sepuloh, dua puloh kali dlam masa 3, 4 jam.. tak hangin ko dengo? yg masa tu aku tgh sibuk nak wat karangan aku nih??...hrm.. tp sudahnya.. lantak pi hang la..


Kekdahnya... of lately nih, aku lak nak giggle or tergelak tak tentu pasal bila baca komen2 org dalam blog depa, or entry2 depa or chat2 depa.. ha tu laa kan.. ngata lg Kun Ying dalam hati dulu hahaha...


Dan kekdahnya jugak.... KunYing ni byk gak nolong aku lately ni...huhuuuuu.... aku kan ada assignment data analisis bagai.. and dia kan dah stage finishing up writing thesis.. of course la member mahir amatz bab2 analisis.....one day.. Johra tanya aku...camana nak wat ada satu assignment on data analisis ni.. aku kata aku lom tgk lagi pon.. tp from ingatan ala kadar aku dalam kelas hr tu.. aku citer la sikit2 kat dia.... roper2nya si KunYing ni dengo... kekdahnya.. dia mintak data tu kat aku.. and tolong aku analize and siap tulih kan sikit findings/interpretation utk aku, boleh??? Aku? alhamdulillah la byk2 kekekeke.....


Recently, weekends ni bilik ni aku and dia jer la....smlm dia cakap kat aku yg buat aku tersentuh perasaan... dia as usual melaung dr cubicle dia...katanya, "Ija... tomorrow I am gonna submit my thesis and soon I'll go to Singapore before going back to Thailand...we must take photo together hor?" Terdiam aku sat di cubicle aku nih.. then aku kata..'of course we must!' and then KunYing kata... 'nevermind.. after this we have facebook to be kept updated of one another..'


hrm....dia tak sampai lg nih...itu jer lah nak citer... ermm... mula2 dulu aku tak berkenan sgt dgn dia nih...mungkin influenced by others who said dia ni wierd..... tp...erm....tu lah kan... dont judge a book by its cover... baca gak asbtract/sinopsis buku tu dulu... hiks! (hint : buzzing Yatz!)...moral of the story, hee hee.. u dont know who u might turn to one day.. sometimes could be org yg ko paling tak sangka skali yg nolong ko eks huhuuuuu...

huhuuuu.. Congrats KunYing!!

Addendum :

1. Ada few typos, tp aku malas nak betulkan.. pandai2 la memahamkan..

2. Aku halalkan sesapa yg nak skip dr menghabiskan baca.. *lariiiiiiii*

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Weekend rambling..

Seperti biasa...ada di school di hujung2 minggu nih...takpe eks.. bersabar jer lah eks....smlm malam yanie call nak ajak dinner kat luar... erm...then aku cakap aku kat school lg.. then dia kata.. tu diaaaa.. kol 8mlm ada kat school lagi..tu aku cakap kat yanie.. takpe.. bertahan jer sket lg cam gini sampai June...... aku pon dah lama tak makan burger McD nih...slalunyer dia and Farid la yg rajin bawak kami nih...hrm.. lama dah aku tak bersosial sejak menjak nih... and also lama tak jumpa yanie, cik pah and also Is. hehe..masing2 buat hal sendiri... tp yg pastinya.. semua depa dah mengorak langkah panjang.. ke melbourne lah... ke canberra pon sudah .. ke Port Stephen pon sudah....hehe.. aku ni jer..masih di Sydney... takpe.. takpe.. i'Allah ada kesempatannya nanti.... tp dalam ramai2.. cik pah la juara huhuuu...Is yg dok sepelaung tu pon lama tak bersembang bagai..takpe.. nanti2 lah lepas ni dah lega2 sikit, kita gather-gather ok? Ke mesia hall pon idak dah sejak menjak ni as compared to last sem. Kalau last sem depa buat bacaan yassin khamis mlm, this time around depa buat Jumaat.. nak bagi laluan sumer students datang sbb takde kelas hr Jumaat mlm tu instead of Khamis mlm ramai yg ada kelas..tp still sem ni skali pon aku tak gi lagi...dok kata nak gi, nak gi... sudahnya idak jugak sbb balik lambat skrg..lepas2 ni lega sikit kot dr skrg...hrm...

Plan nak ber-badminton hr ni di kensel kan dek Zurin.. ada miscommunication katanya between dia and Sazly, the organizer so dia kabarkan smlm...aku nyer reply kat dia??? huhuuu..aku kata.. ada hikmahNya for me sbb boleh tgk keje...hehe to which dia sepatah tak jawab dah kekeke dia hangin kot dgn aku.. dia semangat nak main .. roper2nya aku ni ala kadar jer eks..tak kisah lah kan? Cik pah, ko dah respon ke kat email dia hr tu? Hrm.. bila ajer la aku ni nak ber-exercise bagai agaknya... swimming suit ala2 muslimah sejati *LOL* tu tak sampai2 lagik.. aku dah lose interest sbb macam sejuk jer seminggu dua ni...tp...yg penting itu twisties and chikadees yg aku tak sabo hehehehe....oh tak sabo gak aku nak nunggu cd korea my girl tu huhuuu..

Malam tadi balik jer dari school.. lepas panas2kan food apa2 semua.. aku landing atas sofa sambil tgk Harry Porter.. mentara jer tu.. benonyer nak tunggu ex-boyfren aku on air kat tv smlm... tp sudahnya aku terlena.. sedo2 hubby kejut aku soh tido kat bilik... aku bangun.. tp sempat gak dia sound kat aku sambil nunjuk kat tv... takmo ke tgk ex-boyfren tu kat tv?... masa tu si Ben Affleck tgh merenung aku kat tv hahah.. dalam aku ngantuk2 tu aku leh lak jawab kat hubby... 'tak jadi lah..ija masih setia dgn boyfren skrg... si Scofield' hahaha gelak beso dia...

Pastu celik2 mata tadi.. tu dia.. dah mula ketaq tak hengat... sbb teringat soklan2 si Jack baru no 1 berjawab.... huhuuuuu
Br>
p/s: btw, Yatzzzzzzzz, i know u're reading this sooner or later *LOL*, baru tingat, bila awak nak pos kat ahkak awak ni buku baru Ramlee Awang Murshid????

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Nothing interesting..

Working on:some questions..

Question 1
Consider the concept of generalized exchange as discussed by Carman (1980) and Cadeaux (2000). How might this concept be useful for defining the boundaries and scope of marketing? Is the concept of generalized exchange consistent with a systems theory approach to macro-marketing such as that discussed by Meade and Nason (1991)? Why or why not?


Question 2
Compare the approach to externalities that Meade and Nason (1991) take with the approach Cadeaux (2000) takes. What are their general similarities and differences? Specifically, to what degree do the approaches take heterogeneity and assortments into account?


Question 3
How might one go about developing an empirical design to test the model of external benefits of consumption presented by Cadeaux (2000)?

** Mrasalah ilmiah sgt entry hr ni hahaha**

Friday, April 11, 2008

It's Friday already peeps!

Yeap, I dont know about u guys but I feel that time flies very fast nowadays.... and I believe in no time, I will see myself at the end of the year of 2008 already huh! Well...on one hand, I'd like that because it would mean shorter time for me to be back in the arms of my family... however, on the other hand...it will mean that my deadlines are coming really, really soon and I'd better wake up! Huhuuuu yeah... there are always pro and cons in everything u did....the good and the bad side...I remember how difficult it was for me to make the decision whether to come here or just do this locally.. and when mom didnt agree on my coming here, although I was not quite happy but obeyed anyway coz I have this conservative belief in me that mom knows best and I'd better not disobey my mom otherwise I'll be punished one way or another later on hahaha. Well.. laugh I may, but psttt... I still have that in me. So, till now, whenever I have presentations or exams I would call her up the day or night before just to get her restu or something like that.. at least her assuring words make me feel better...same case when I got good marks (tu yg 85%) tu, quickly enough I reported to her to which Delinn said .."such a baby!" hahahaha


Anyway, in the end mom agrees and finally with her consent.. here I am standing up to what I believed to be my destiny for my doctorate study since the very beginning... And.. now... with such difficulty.. I would say difficulty because.. I am in difficulty here.. not in my life-style Alhamdulillah....but.. in my studies..I ermmm ( this is the zillionnthhh of time I complained, I know yadda yadda yadda.. just bear with me..in 3.5 yrs time if I can still keep this blog.. it would be interesting to look back and reminiscing)... I ermmm.... ok to make it simple.. I feel incompetent relative to my other colleagues...but... I am still holding on to the saying.. "ada hikmah di atas segalanya..." that to date, haiyyohh study wise belum nampak huhuuuu... but lifestyle wise.. yeap.. bit by bit I can see what it meant to show/tell me...what I can say is... this environment teach me to appreciate things a whole lot more than I usually had


Yesterday, I attended a doctoral seminar in the afternoon.. it was basically a proposal defense by Zhi Rong who is doing something on product assortments and she is focusing on tourism.. how ppl decide their tourism assortment. I admire her.... I have so many times wished her luck prior to yesterday coz I know I'd be such a freak when I'm about to embark in such an important event of a PhD student's life...but.. yesterday.. she did good. She did very well. I observed how she did her presentation and although she kind of stumbled with her words here and there nevertheless she is one confident student! There were lots of questions posed... heaps of them! but she managed just fine..looked like she really really know what she's doing.. well.. of course at that point we should have, shouldnt we? That's obvious otherwise we wont be standing there..Ermm.. maybe because I still have vague picture of what I intend to do in my research.. Arghh...I just dont want to go beyond 4 yrs. That will be crazy!


I received good news from friends in NZ and Perth who came a month or 2 months later than me.. but already successfully defended their proposal last week.. Alhamdulillah... happy for them but makes me cringe inside when I look at my situation... Well.. one might say that they dont have classes (yes, true) therefore they are able...I dont know.. I always pray and hope that God give me hidayah in doing my work and hoping for miracle so that...when I do it the first time ( I mean the ideas, the work and all), it will be the right one so that my path is a straight one instead of crooked hehehe.. so that I wont waste my time hehehe...


Okay.. enough with my ramble on this... there will be other times of something like this believe me..so much with my emotions....


Can u believe that I only managed to finish only 1 Jack's article yesterday???? Such a loser huhuuuu sian diri aku nihhh asyik kene kutuk hahaha...no.. I mean.. such a kura-kura hahaha...yes.. I started the reading at 8+ am with large latte on my side (yg dalam minggu ni aku dah tak bancuh sendiri air neskepe dah..beli jer.. huhuu) and... when it was about to go back at 8pm yesterday.., I was still holding that same paper keh keh keh.. tak patut betullll.. tp....yeah.. I had to attend the seminar at 3.30pm yesterday anyway...alasan.. alasan..hiks!


But.. surprisingly this time... I think I understand the whole picture or idea of that paper in that one time reading, how's that?? huhuuuu... I mean.. boleh laaa nak draf2 or letak2 gambaran of how my answers would be... what my approach would be in answering the question.. in which aspect I would start tackling the question ..something like that.. cuma belum write up lagi.. tgh nak perabihkan whole 3 papers first then only write properly so that I get a clearer picture.


So, today am gonna (should) finish the other 2 papers and in the afternoon or tonite I should draft my answers in the paper already.. insyaallah.. see how. Then.. if everything goes to schedule.. tomorrow I'll look at Monday's article which to date havent received any yet.. tak suka betul depa ni bagi last last minit sbb I dislike to do last minute work.. makes me panic tak tentu pasal hisyyy.. and sunday there will be badminton game oh oh... yep, finally I confirmed with Zurin that i'Allah am coming with of course additional note .."cakap siang2 tak gheti main tau!" huhuuuu.. after the game, I shall be working on my SPSS assignment.. see how..


Ohh.. yesterday masa otak tgh kelabu asap with the reading, I dropped by at Joe's chatbox..which I seldom do... hrm... little did I know that it is fun chatting in the 'online crowd' hahahahaha...aku kan anti social sket hahaha dream on!


Oklah.. tu jer

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Farhana and dik an...

Gi visit blog Delinn tadi..... dia ada letak gambo kakak and dik an...terus tersentuh rasa hati aku.. sebak rasa.. sedih.. rindu sangat... erm... aku dah lama tak tengok gambo2 depa.. i simply avoid.. actually....aku dah lama tak teringat-ingat kat kakak for quite some time already.... agaknya dah immune and also sbb aku sibuk sgt kot...tp.. bila tengok dia tersenyum kat gambo tu... buat aku terkenang2 balik kat dia..... bonding aku dgn kakak mmg kuat...

Talking about this, aku lupa nak citer especially to u ina.. aku call kakak last 2 or 3 days kot... tah saje je.. sbb aku notice.. rasanya dah dekat sebulan kot tak bercakap on the phone dgn dia ....sembang punyer sembang.. ko tau dak she already had her exams... aku rasa test kot or mid term exam gitu kot.. sbb skrg belum ujung tahun lagi where schools normally have their final exams kan...so kisahnya kan... dia scored bagus2 tau utk subjek2 dia.. setakat apa yg dia dah dapat tu semua 90 ke atas.. ko tau dak Na? Ke ko dah tau tak citer kat aku? Aku pon lupa nak citer last few days.. baguss aaa katanya sains dan maths dapat 96 or something like that... si dik an masa tu ada kat sebelah dia dok bising2.. aku rasa nak kabor gak dia pon terrer dalam blajor dia tu hahaha..i'm just proud of her.... pastu katanya, skrg dah naik bus ke skolah... so the parents and abah dah tak anto dah la... tapi bila aku tanya, dia kata boring gak naik bus so Atan beli buku citer kat dia.. konon2nya dia leh baca la atas bus tu... aku tanya dia tak pening ke baca atas bus...sbb De' pening.. tp ok jer kata dia...sedihhh aaa sehhhh.. takpe takpe.. ujung tahun ni or awal tahun depan i'Allah aku balik...

Lepas tu nyembang dgn dik an heheheh yer lah member dok tunggu sblh kang terasa lak dia.. haha dia cakap apa tau kat aku... "De balik tak bulan April... sbb dik an ada sports 12 April" kekekekeke ... gelak beso aku....aku kata aku balik tp ujung tahun.... (aku rasa sah dah dia akan terus melapor pada mak tu)...Neway, konon2 kali ni dia azam nak main sports tu... last year setelah sakan praktis bagai.. on the day itself tak jadi main sports sbb member ada inferiority complex..

Hrm.... terciter pasal kakak lak...oh yaaa... mmg betul bendera merah sudaaaa naik... alhamdulillah nampaknya 3, 4 bulan kebelakangan ni macam regular jer...

Zurin emailed yesterday nakkan confirmation ahad ni datang dak main badminton kekeke ketaq lak aku hahahaha sbb masa guys start main badminton.. aku pon nak gak main sbb konon2 boleh lega2kan otot2 aku yg stress dek kelas2 aku nih.. tp belum start pon lagi sbb court penuh jer memanjang.... erm.. maybe gi kot main this sunday...aku segan beno nyer.. aku cakap kat Amran.. takat main2 pukul-sambut bola boleh la.. tp nak lawan2 bagai kang... hancussssssss..... but Amran sokong aku gi... boleh relax2 katanya... maybe gi lah kot ahad ni ..

Cik pah!!! are u coming???

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Some pictures during Tun and her friends' visit last 2 weeks..



psssttttt.....aku nampak kurus sket dak??? as compared to last time???? sbb selera kurang sket lah sejak menjak kelas nih...huhuuuuu

Yeay!

Huh! Syok betul bila ngenangkan hr ni Rabu...sbb hr ni last class for each week.... bila masuk Ahad, aura2 stress tu nak datang balik dah sbb Isnin mula dah la...Selasa tu peak stressnya.. then Rabu, best! Tak tau lah yek kot sebenarnya sama jer every week...tp I find that this week is the hardest for me because the articles for this week's classes are really heavy and also just too many. Monday, the main issue was on cross-culture where we got to think and debate whether Hofstede's landmark study on cross cultural dimensions are valid or not. Huh! Level dewa2 tu, bukan level aku hahaha. Tapi, goreng2 la sikit kan.. janji lepas keh keh keh. Tapi nasib baiknyer kelas yg ni, dah sebab cross culture kan.. aku pon apply la being a muslim in a muslim country .. apa consideration, apa bezanya yg perlu di ambil kira kalau nak buat research on muslim country ni kan.. nak approach cemana, org melayu ni kadang byk pantang larangnyer cececece (ke pantang larang aku jer).. alaaaa.. saje la tambah perisa sket so that nampak interesting (read:real) lah citer aku nih hahaha.. tp lecturer aku tu percaya jer (read:agree)..sbb dia penah buat research on muslims in India so macam kena jer dgn dongengan aku tu. Takpa, janji participate and lepas.

Selasa mmg kelas yg plg stressful pada aku sbb.. ni highly conceptual nyer kelas.. and lemahnya aku ni tak terror nak imagine things..erm.. tp boleh la sikit2...pulak tu topiknya minggu ni on 'marketing system' .... masa aku perosah Amran tolong aku jawab soklan2 tu aku cakap kat dia ni soklan2 utk menyelamatkan dunia ni.. bukannya level aku ni (alasan lagiiii), dia gelak beso. Well.. boleh rely jugak kat hubby aku ni sbb walaupon jauh lebih senyap and different level of education ..tp general knowledge.. jauhhhhhhh tingginyer dari aku. Aku mmg suker org yg general knowledge nyer baguss sbb boleh citer2 kat aku sbb aku nyer general knowledge teruk skali. Anyway, so he did give me some insights or at least his comments make me think about it and help me generate answers more relevant to my field. Tapi rasanya dia pon turut sama pressure kot bila aku mula cakap..'cuba tgk soklan2 ni... bla bla bla..'..hahahaha. Na, patutnya masa aku buat topik decision support systems tu aku tanya ko ekss.. isk..

Rabu aku suka sbb ni kelas data analysis.. mmg aku prefer numbers instead of subjectivity and also bila buat assignment yg ni aku tak ngantuk... but that article was hard as well just now. nasib baik, lect tu tak suruh bincang ke debate ke kritik tadi sbb nak focus on anova, manova exercises.

Wokeh.. so erm.. apa nak citer eks? It is getting colder, I thought of going out shopping for walking shoes... quilt cover...lagi apa eks.. aku ada mentally list kan hr tu.. erm..warm clothes etc etc. Aku ni mmg selalunyer macam ni... bila tense tu tgh peak.. aku pasang plan kemain lagi.. Khamis nak gi outing la.. shopping la...(remember, Khamis shopping day so those shops close at 9pm, otherwise 5pm)..sbb nak release stress.. nak rasa legaaa sangat.. can't wait.. mmg tu la aku dok cakap2 kat Amran. Tapi.. macam skrg ni kan, bila dah habih kelas.. aku dah relaks2 dah... kepala dah clear...somehow aku tak terasa pon nak keluo shopping ke apa..... I'd rather stay at my place and start looking and reading on work for next week... patut la Tun penah kata kat aku dulu.. aku ni 'square face'...Neways, mungkin gi jugak kot esok..

Work for next week sudah mariii..next tuesday will be another session of answering questions yg di tahap dewa2.. aku nak kena start awallah camni.. otherwise, aku jugak yg panik tak tentu hala...there are submissions for both tuesday and wednesday... bila ada submission ni aku particular la sikit sbb.. yer lah kan.. marks dia dikira ke final.. so.. kene kerja keras sikit utk understand, reflect and contribute.... Talking about marks, I have got back some of my assignments and all I can say is.. I am in an average category of students.. belum bagus lagi..because my marks range around 70-80, cuma satu tu jer kejayaan cemerlang, 85 hehehehe. Akan kukenang...

Wokehh satgi nak gi pos brg kat minah itu.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Final one for today

Alhamdulillah kelas yg menggerunkan tadi dah abih.. hrm...not bad.. part of my views are in line with the Prof but part of it meleset sama skali.. so aku boleh bayangkan dah lah markah yg akan aku dapat hiks! Bior ler. Apa2 pon aku lega dah lepas.

The essay is here.

Okeh berjuang utk esok lak. Untuk esok ni aku nak review jer.. abess dah methodologi.. apa aku nak kritik kan?
aku rasa cam nak nangis ni.. sbb macam tension sangat... sejak sampai school pagi tadi aku hanya usik (edit) few lines jer kerja aku dpd apa yg aku buat kat umah subuh tadi... selebihnya sambung pembacaan...gi lawat blog orang.. baca2 paper sesikit...dok termenung.... stress pulak rasanya.. uhukkk *utk kelas hr ni benonyer*. Ke sebab 'bendera merah' nak naik nih... hehehe itu lah pompuan eks.. sket2 itulah tpt dilampiaskan alasan hahaha..

Penat

Alamakkk.... hr ni rasa macam tak larat lah sangat.. haduihhh...penat beno rasanya...
Takpe ahh bertahan sket lagi...topik2 minggu ni mmg agak tough la pada aku banding dgn yg lepas2... esok pon tough gak.. to be honest yg utk esok tu aku dah ulang 3 kali baca.. tp still samar2.. bila Daisy tanya dah baca ke artikel utk submission esok tu....aku cakap dah baca skali baru.. segan nak cakap dah baca 3 kali tapi masih blur hahahaha and she knows that I need to at least read twice on any article that i read kalau idak.. harus ler tambah blur... aku kan slow sket hiks!

Semalam, dalam kol 7pm.. masa tu kat school lagi.. 5 soklan2 yg dikemuka kan dek Prof nih masih belum satu pon berjawab.. nak jawab camner dah aku sendiri pon blm clear.. sbb.. for this class.. aku kind of read last minit sket.. sbb last week aku lebih tumpu pd research article aku.. erm.. yer la.. nak kena balance gak kan progress dalam research and class.. research mmg lah utama.. tp kelas pon penting gak sbb takmo la aku terkulat-kulat dalam kelas tu mikirkan apa benda depa ni discuss kan.. plg2 tidak, nak gak keluokan sepatah dua kata hahaha...dan so far survive lagi la... tapi tang kelas harini... on marketing system.. smlm aku macam dah terpikir nak berdiam diri jer lah sepanjang 2 jam kelas tu kang.. sbb.. isk.. tak reti lah...

So, smlm dalam kol 8pm gitu kot aku balik umah...lepak2 jap.. (come to think of it, starting this semester, I actually stayed at school for 12 hours on average.. but doesnt mean i work 12 hours lah hiks!) tak jugak lepak mana pon.. ke ceruk dapur sat tgk2 apa yg patut... then sambung la perah otak sket..Still empty paper.. esok (read: hr ni) nak submit nih. Aku rasa cam belum penah la se-last minit nih.. i mean.. mlm sblm nak submit tu kol 11.30pm tu masih kosong kertas aku..So pepagi nih... kol 4.30am bangun.. sambung.. and alhamdulillah ada jugak lah sesikit idea nak coret2kan atas kertas aku tu walaupon i got the feeling macam aku play around the bush jer hahaha.. yer lah dpd hantar kertas kosong kang apa hal kan.. hiks!

Oklah.. habih kelas kang aku continue to update on whether my point of view dalam kertas aku tu sama or similar dak dgn Prof tu. And might post my essay in the other blog also.

Okeh daaaaaaaaa.. penat nih.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Kisahnya...

Kisahnya.....weken lepas, aku terkelam kabut mencari dan membaca background readings untuk article yg akan di diskus harini... dan tunggang terbalik aku membaca (yg tak sempat habihs pon!) dan cobaan demi cobaan utk memahami isi kandungan memasing artikel...

Kisahnya....si Amran pon kena perosah dek aku untuk tolong jawab soklan2 yg aku tak paham dan mungkin ditanya/ditembak dalam kelas...

Kisahnya... si Delinn pon nyaris2 nak dikena perosah gak dek aku mlm tadi bilamana aku dah panik tahap gaban bila aku masih belum betul2 paham isi kandungan memasing artikel tu...tapi dek kerna di warning oleh si minah ittew, maka kensel.. ko slamat kali ni jek eksss...

Kisahnya.. aku tido lewat dr biasa mlm tadi..dalam usaha memperjuangkan pemahaman aku ttg idea utama yg cuba disampaikan oleh sumer2 artikel tu dan...bangunlah aku di waktu dinihari tadi..yg telah seminggu dua ni tak ku praktikkan sbb semacam dah boleh keep pace myself in coping with the readings...tp kali ni terpaksa sbb byk sgt artikel utk minggu ni...

Kisahnya.. siap berdoa pada Tuhan moga diberi pertolongan dalam menghadapi kelasku pada pd pagi ini (huhuu spesifik tu doa aku pagi tadi kekekekek) disebabkan kurang pemahaman (masih!) dgn artikel2 hr ni...

Kisahnya... bila sampai jer kat school tadi, terkelam kabut gak sambung pembacaan, edit meng-edit bahan utk di present karang and cuba2 bertanya pd diri sendiri soklan2 cepu mas yg mungkin akan ditanya utk test and confirm my understanding level..


Roper-ropernya...memandangkan turn aku present sepatutnya last skali... tetiba masa tak cukup.. sang pensyarah tu boleh pulak tak menyuruh pon aku present tadik???!! Apakah??? *pinjam feveret word Dijah (first time di mention dalam blog aku kekekeke)* Sebaliknya, dia yg mengulas secara ringkas pasal artikel yg dah ditugaskan pada aku tu...masa tu tinggal seminit jer lagi time class nak over...dia ni macam punctual sket

Aku lak moskel..dgn pertanyaan yg bersarang di hati aku...' did i do anything wrong in the class? could it be that my participations in the class just now dissappoint him that he decides to not ask me to present to the class? *walaupon aku patutnya lega bangetsss sbb tak kene present tadi hahaha*

So, aku buat random survey tadi pd kengkawan classmate (yerrrr aku ni sgt self concious regarding my performance in the class... ngin kutahu kelemahan aku so that aku boleh improve memana.. but sometimes reality hurts! uhukk.. apakah relevannya disini...).
Anyway.. sumer kengkawan aku kata i did well just now in my answers to his questions and participations.. it's just that we ran out of time..

Okeh.. diterima (hehe sungguh bias!)
Persoalan kedua yg bersarang di fikiran.. adakah ianya pertolongan dari Tuhan kerna membuatkan aku boleh escape dr presentation tadi?? Wallahualam.... whatever it is.. Alhamdulillah.. thank you God.
Wokehh cukup dgn kisahnya utk hr ni.. ada panjang lagi kisahnya utk esok dan lusa...
p/s: sejuknyerr skang ni...

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Daylight saving ends today

Yerrrr... dan ini bermakna aku perlu lambatkan jam 1 jam kebelakang.. and also means time difference aku dgn mereka di mesia hanya 2 jam yg membuatkan lebih mudah utk aku ngingatkan depa2 kat mesia laa ni tgh buat apa.. aku mmg suka even numbers than odd ones.

Apa lagi nak citer? Ahaa orang kata alah bisa tegal biasa kan? So, bila dah few days lag dalam updating my blog and only slip in an entry in between days make me feel even lazier to update hahaha...

Yesterday, as usual .. working from school...started the day a little bit later than the usual weekdays where normally I'd start the day from 7.30am as already in the school. Got an email from Jack yesterday who suddenly decided to ask us to submit essay on this coming tuesday pertaining to the discussion questions posed last week (which supposed to be only for discussions in class). Therefore, I started to kelam kabut balik as usual hehehhee.. sbb rabu pon ada submission jugak yg mana aku nak kena mengkritik methodology yg digunakan dalam satu jernel paper ni .. particularly on the ANOVA and MANOVA procedure huhuuuu.

Esok pulak aku salah sorang yg dah ditugaskan utk jadik moderator on cross cultural research studies dalam kelas... to be specific, aku kena lead the discussion on kritik yg telah dibuat oleh Fiske (2002) terhadap artikel yg telah ditulis oleh Oyserman et al. (2002) berkaitan "Rethinking Individualism and Collectivism: Evaluation of Theoretical Assumptions and Meta-Analyses". Pening sehhhhh... Sapa boleh tolong aku angkat tangan????

I just wonder... with all these practices and trainings on criticising, ... will it turn me into someone who LOVE to critique every creature on earth later on? wonder.. wonder...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Random part 2 (copy & paste from my other blog)

Met my supervisor formally yesterday though I should say, we didnt discuss that much in formality. Actually, I bumped into him the day before yesterday.. he asked me of how my being and studies and progress and all.. so.. casually I told him (I was filling the jar with cold water at the time) that i intend to see him either tomorrow (that's yesterday) or the next day (that's today). I also told him that I wanted to streamline my research progress seeing that I did not progress that much to date and that worries me a whole lot. But.. he explained bits and pieces while standing in the kitchen pantry and also while walking towards his office, he invited me in and so we continue talking a bit in general.


Well.. I have decided to not discuss my research that casual. And, to my surprise and dissappointment.. when I asked about his view on the proposed area that I submitted him last time (last yr remember I submitted 1 whole chapter before going back to Malaysia for 2 weeks).. he suddenly mention that that area or topic or idea doesnt seem of interest or rigor enough to warrant deeper investigation. I was damn shocked! But of course, maintained cool and keep this to myself... but.. why didnt he mention this that time when he gave me his feedback which... generally was only on GRAMMAR!I was furious inside.. but of course I didnt show it to him. He also said that, he'd prefer me to give the whole proposal in one short so that he'd be able to see the sequence, rationale and whatnot.. to which I disagree (and only say this in my heart). Anyway, I didnt voice up my views on this either..i just let it be and go back to my place to do some thinking over what he has said.


So, after seeing him that day, I was down, really depress and sad thinking that.. my God! I have spent nearly 8 months on that area and suddenly only now he said, that is not much of a fruitful area..so.. really in no mood.. (that explains the mundane environment which is reflected in my writing in this blog these days. So.. I went through my assignment for yesterday, it was SPSS result analysis and that took my mind and mood away from my current worry for a little while.


But once home, the sadness and dissappointment and emotional turndown come again....and I just go to sleep right away. Hubby had his maggi mee as dinner at my office while waiting for me finishing up my work.

Come morning (yesterday), I have decided.. no! I have to see him (my sv) again and clarfiy this and point up my views .. I'd better or else I will be in a dilemma and worried and lost. So yesterday I went to his room with a list of agenda I'd like to tackle and clarify with him. So I did and alhamdulillah I braved myself yesterday for... what's not clear or might be misunderstood by both parties (mostly me) are pretty much clarified.


1) I asked about my research progress whether I am behind schedule (which to me, yes I am.. coz already 8 months and everything seems to be still vague) but not to him. He said i am well intact with the schedule (really?) and to not to worry too much over it. He'd push me if he finds that I'm way behind schedule. Ok. First question answered.


2) I intend to defend my proposal by the end of this year and that leaves me with another 9 months to go.. do u think it is possible? By asking this, actually implicitly I am implying that i) I wanna see if he keeps track of my progress and ii) to tell him that I really wanna stick to this plan of study which i have submitted him in the beginning of my study. So, he said, okay.. by aug (1 yr) I should have my draft proposal completed and we'll work from there.. knowing that of course the proposal will go back and forth, back and forth for hundreds of time. Ok. I agree and will take this challenge. 2nd question answered/solved.


3) I voiced up that I dont agree with his suggestion to get the whole proposal completed first then only show him.. coz.. I dont want to be doing a model and literature review and methodology and spent months on it to be discarded after the first submission. That would waste my time. So i suggest to him that why not I submit to you chapter by chapter starting with the LR first? Then he said.... no....apparently what he meant was.. for me to get the whole LR part completed and submit to him instead of submitting topic by topic... hrm.. although some of my friends did this way which I think is useful (topic by topic) but well...I erm..take his suggestion coz well.. that maybe is his style.. so.. no harm.. I'll do as he suggested. 3rd problem clarified and solved.


4) I told him that yesterday (day before yesterday) he mentioned on the weak potential of my proposed topic/area in PhD research.. I showed him a list of all latent constructs that I have proposed to him last time and asked him... should i divert to another area or did u mean any particular construct that u're not happy with. Okay.. for this particular question.. he seems to be belit here and there like how an original bangla would do *LOL* keh keh keh... suddenly he said, not that he disagree or discourage with the idea/area but.. on the virtual community idea seems so virtual and vague and he cant really see the potential in it. And also he said that he browsed a while on this and found little literatures on this. Well... but he also added that if I think there is potential in this topic and can prove it to him, we might settle on this one.. so... in other words.. it's on me. Well.. although not that satisfied with his answer and the question is not fully answered.. erm... I guess i should stop at that first and see what I can prove to him in my writings..because I see so much potential in this online social networking thingy in marketing.


So... all in all, I am pretty satisfied with the meeting.. and feels that my mind is cleared and my confusion is somehow clarified.

So now I agree with the saying.. that communication with your supervisor (or anybody else) is of utmost important... but.. I always takut-takut one to talk to him.. not confident and low self esteem.


Oklah tu dulu.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Random ..

I found that I have somehow lost interest in blog hopping as well as writing my own blog. I dont know why.. Maybe because there are too many things occupying my mind lately that keeps my interest in the blogland seems diverted. I realized that I spent less time these days visiting my-frequent-visit blogs other than those such as delinn, deo, fida, cheeky pah and a few more. The rest that normally I'd visit at different times in a day were now seems received less attention from me. Well, one reason to that is possibly because the blog owners have not been updating themselves and another reason could be due to my time constraint these days and of course the third reason could be that I may have lost interest in actually reading a blog! heh heh... but... ermm.. I dont think believe in the third reason though.

I noticed that of recent, I have frequented stranger blogs that are either newly disovered or through my friend's which are written in a particular way that attract my attention to visiting them over and over again. Then.. finally I realized that..... owh.. I have kind of develop interest in reading blogs that reflect creative, critical, analitical and knowledgeable writings. Well.. dont get me wrong... of course like mentioned yesterday.."blog dan saya tidak dapat dipisahkan".. therefore, of course sooner if not later I'll be back to my old frequent-visit blog avenues.

It is just that I know that I am such a shallow thinker myself.... which means.. I dont normally think deeply of a particular topic or idea or in other words, seldom develop deep, analytical thinking if I am not forced to... therefore this is the price that I have to pay for thinking light of such important mind-development process. So, that's one of the reasons why I am depress lately, why I am stressful and why I just feel like hibernating. I so look down on myself on my ability to have deep thought knowing that being in this level of study especially the courses I take requires a whole lot of such skills. Nevertheless, I am in the learning process. I know by the time I graduate, I'd have so much to appreciate and value of what I have gathered and gained in between the lines of progressing my student life here ....besides the scroll.